So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
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