He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
