Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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