I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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