maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I supernannyed him into submission
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
