with your own penis?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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