The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize