thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
