She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
worst night to have a conscience
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
