they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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