she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
