i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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