Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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