i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
