census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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