Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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