did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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