JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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