new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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