also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
