My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Randomize
