i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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