Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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