I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
