I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
