Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
