May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
