That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize