You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize