So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
