I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
