We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
