I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
