Michael Bay diarrhea
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
