Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I didn't shave. On purpose
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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