Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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