so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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