last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
zippers are such a cool invention
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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