How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
