yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
