In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
