It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
