if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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