I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
