Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
