batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
please come you make the beer taste better
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
