fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
