I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
