I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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