in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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