pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
