So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
