Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
