we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
