i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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