You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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