shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
its liver damage thursday
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
