i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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