batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
