i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
