the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
