new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
