You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
