I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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