I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
