I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
