jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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