Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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