if i can run in heels then i can drive
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
